6 Ways to Prevent Mom Burnout

Hi Mama, if you are feeling the below symptoms,

You might be suffering from burnout.

When you keep giving yourself to everyone else, looking after everyone else's needs before your own and leaving very little energy for yourself, eventually, you will feel frustrated and burned out. As much as we want to be the supermom, we must realise that we cannot always be the supermom.

How can you possibly pour from an empty cup?

We must dig deep into the root causes of mom burnout- perhaps you don't feel good enough and must prove and validate your self-worth by being perfect and overworking yourself. Or maybe your mother is a supermom, and you think you must do the same? Or perhaps you don't know how to say "No" to others? For example, when a colleague asks if you can take a call on the weekend, you agree to it even though you plan not to do any work.

Can you be honest and ask yourself why your needs don't matter? Take some time to reflect. Whatever the causes, let's look at how you can avoid mom burnout.

Here are six tips for you to consider:

1. Maintain boundaries

A friend shared that she had to help her in-laws do some work, and her ex-boss called her to ask for help. She felt frustrated that she had no time to work on her business. In this case, she might be unable to reject her in-laws, but she could say "No" to her ex-boss and tell him she has no time to help him. Or maybe your neighbour keeps asking you to look after her kid while she runs errands. Or are you taking work calls on the weekends? Who and what can you say "No" to today?

2. Take care of yourself.

Learn to look after yourself and your needs first. Only then can you help others after you put on your oxygen mask. Setting up a sustainable self-care routine is paramount in ensuring you are happy. Remember, a happy mom is a happy family. If you keep annoyed at your partner, you must evaluate what bothers you. Do you need more help from him? Do you need more time alone on the weekends? Start by scheduling regular downtime for yourself. What brings you joy? Is it crafting something creative or curling up on the couch to read a book? By the way, going shopping on your own is not exactly "me" time.

3. Connect with other mothers regularly

We are social creatures. We need human interaction to know we are not alone in this messy motherhood journey and get emotional support. Whether you connect online or face-to-face, having a safe space to rant and get your emotions out without judgment is crucial.

Sometimes, it's also good to hear about different ways of doing things and to share ideas with other mothers. I certainly learned a lot from spending time with other mothers. Go on coffee dates with mama friends without your kids, or spend an hour on a video call with a friend without distractions.

4. Avoid anything that causes stress.

Ok, I'm just going to say it. I stopped watching the news because it gives me anxiety and makes me worry about my future and my kids' future. Now, I get bits and pieces of news information from my husband and friends. Maybe for you, it's limiting social media if it's making you compare yourself to other mothers or stop hanging out with that mother who keeps bragging about her kid's achievements.

5. Be gentle with yourself.

Someone recently told me she felt terrible for letting her kids watch TV. And I said to her that she needed to be gentle with herself. It's the middle of winter, raining all the time, and we are in semi-lockdown; some screen time during this period will not kill your kids if it buys you some sanity to drink your coffee in peace. Notice your negative self-talk in your head: "I should be doing this..." Every time you have a negative self-talk thought, write it down in your journal. Something cathartic happens when you write how you feel on paper.

6. Ask for help!

Now, this is a big one. Learn to ask for help from your partner and friends. I know you think you can do it all because it appears every mom seems to be doing fine, or maybe your mom did it all, too. But there is no shame in admitting that you need help. Asking for help does not make you weak; it makes you human! We all need help sometimes, which is why friends and family are there. Build a village where you can rely on others from time to time.

Which of these tips can you start using today?

Remember, your needs matter too, Mama.