My Sweat Lodge Experience

Before attending the sweat lodge ceremony, I did not know much about it. I vaguely remember seeing it in a documentary once about how Native Americans use them to purify themselves. I wanted to do more research by watching some YouTube videos, but I am glad I did not. It probably would have put me off from trying it.

As part of the preparation for the ceremony, we were instructed not to eat meat that day and not to eat two hours before the ceremony. I arrived at the location but could not find the sweat lodge. So I called the organizer, and he emerged from behind some bushes and led me to the forest where everyone gathered. You would have never known that there was a sweat lodge there. It was so well hidden!

In front of the sweat lodge, there was a bonfire set up. There were logs on three sides of the fire for us to sit on. Next to the sweat lodge were mats on the forest ground to create the singing circle space. I looked around carefully and decided to sit between two friendly Swiss girls who made space for me on the log. One of them was also experiencing the sweat lodge for the first time, and she asked me how I felt. I admitted that I was excited but a tad nervous at the same time.

Once everyone arrived, the organizer introduced himself as Thomas. Then there was Vera leading the singing circle, and her partner Grant was the firekeeper. He was in charge of the bonfire and the hot stones. The three of them collaborated on this sweat lodge ceremony, and they all had very calming and inviting energy. I remember feeling safe.

Thomas then briefly introduced the fact that Native American and Celtic tribes used sweat lodges to purify themselves. And he also ran through the process. Next, Vera ran through some rules about hydrating enough before starting and not lifting the sweat lodge's sides when it gets too hot. Afterwards, Grant proceeded to light the bonfire, and we gathered around it in a circle to set our intention for the sweat lodge ceremony. My intention was to connect with nature and to connect with like-minded souls.

While the fire was burning, we gathered away from the fire and formed a circle to sing songs. We practised singing as a tribe and were encouraged to sing inside the sweat lodge. It was a way to distract ourselves from the heat, which proved to be a piece of excellent advice. At first, I was too shy to sing in front of strangers. But by the third song, I felt comfortable singing with the group. I realized I'd never sung in a group in a long time. Also, it felt pretty powerful to sing in a group. 

After Vera held the singing circle, Thomas told us to get changed for the sweat lodge. Most girls wore a bikini and wrapped a sarong around them. The men wore board shorts, and some had a sarong around their waist. (P/S: No one was naked! Although some ladies were topless in the end as it was so freaking hot). Before we entered the sweat lodge, Vera smudged our bodies with palo santo to purify ourselves for the session. The men entered first, followed by the women.

The whole process took a while as we awaited our turn to be smudged. There was definitely an air of uncertainty and fear mixed with curiosity and eagerness. Inside the sweat lodge, we sat knee to knee in two circles- one right in front of the stone pit—the next behind the first circle. Finally, the last person fills the sweat lodge. Grant used a pitchfork from outside and took hot stones from the burning fire, placing them in the middle of the sweat lodge.

The first round begins. Thomas closed the blanket at the entrance, which was pitch black. I slightly panicked at that moment. He then proceeded to pour water from a wooden bucket on the hot stones; they sizzled, and a waft of steam hit my face. Sweat was gathering around my forehead and then dipping down the sides of my face. That was the beginning of the next hour and a half of sweating. But I remember thinking it would be bearable if the temperature stayed like this. Which, of course, did not stay that way! It just got hotter and hotter. In the end, there were four rounds, with Grant adding more hot stones at every round.

I remember Vera's advice to keep singing, and it was such great advice! As the heat intensified, I remember singing louder as if to drown my mind from the chatter. From the monkey mind that keeps wanting to give up and escape the uncomfortable situation.

Some thoughts that came up for me were:

"What the fuck am I doing here with all these strangers when I could be at home with my kids sitting comfortably on my sofa?" 

"I never knew my spirit animal was the dog."

"I cannot give up now. I gave birth to two babies! I'm stronger than that."

"How come I never think about my paternal ancestors? 

"My paternal grandmother lives in me; she is me, and I am her."

"Holyshit! I never knew I could sweat this much!"

"Nothing gets more vulnerable than sweating with a group of strangers almost naked."

"You are crazy to come here and experience near death."

By the last round, I was literally on the ground, trying to get some fresh air from the sides of the sweat lodge. Ultimately, I was in a trance from the singing and heat. My hands shook slightly, and I thought I would pass out from the heat and hunger. Finally, Thomas closed the session by asking us to reconnect with our ancestors or someone who is no longer here on this earth. We sang our last song together, and Thomas lifted the blanket of the entrance.

I was so relieved to see the light streaming into the sweat lodge. We slowly and gingerly made our way out, panting and gasping for air, all of us spreading out in all directions, trying to catch our breath after an intensely raw experience. People were lying on the cold ground, on the grass, and taking it all in.

I was proud of myself for showing up to embrace the experience. I felt like I was reconnecting to who I was: a person who loves adventures and being in nature and enjoys new and unique experiences. Someone who is unafraid to be uncomfortable in new settings and embrace it.

I loved the experience! I even made friends with an adorable and funny couple and like-minded souls who were into spirituality and experiencing something different in their lives. We shared our experiences and laughed at funny things, like trying to control our farts and hoping no one heard our hungry stomachs growling during the ceremony.

Would I do it again? Yes! I felt cleansed and purified from the intense experience.

Would I do it every month? No. I needed time to process what I experienced, and I even felt spacey for a week after the ceremony. I was trying to come to terms with the kind of thoughts that were going through my head. Almost a month later, I'm just starting to feel grounded.